Gash In the Ash

“Laugh uncontrollably…It clears the mind.” –one of the dove chocolates I ate this morning.
As most of you know I love to laugh. Laughing is probably my favorite thing to do in this world…mmm, perhaps it is tied with eating. Yes, eating and laughing are by far my favorite activities on this earth. Also, as most of you know I laugh quite often, quite loudly, and when I am laughing I have no control over my limbs or body. While dying of laughter I also often 1)start clapping 2) slapping my leg 3) stomping my leg 4) and in extreme situations I have no control over my bladder. This is me. I would just like to thank you all for being my friend even though I am an embarrassment to women everywhere and perhaps even humans in general. Well, here in Africa life is extra funny and I laugh just as much as usual if not even more so. I will admit that it can probably get annoying to my fellow team members. Gosh, they are so great to put up with me at times. Okay, so back to my story. This happened on June 11th. It was the night before the 2nd wave volunteers came and all through the house our little team was preparing and getting our lessons and lives together for the new comers. Well, everyone except for a select few who were helping Heidi fix her braces or watching her do so. Corb and Ashley were at the internet—that’s important for later…. So Heidi was on the couch with Amberlee laughing hysterically as they were trying to fix her braces. I was watching and laughing as well. Then after that surgical experience Heidi and I were looking at Amber’s huge swollen arm. While we had all been in Rwanda Amberlee stayed back and had injured herself. She had gone outside to save her laundry from the rainstorm when she hopped skipped and then skidded across the cement and completely biffed it and fell. She hurt her arm badly and had a gash, but instead of taking care of herself like any normal human being she slapped a band-aid on it without cleaning the cut. Now her arm was swollen and as Heidi and I examined it we decided that there must be rocks inside of her cut and it was getting infected. For some ridiculous reason this was the funniest thing in the world and we were acting like surgeons that needed to cut her open and get these infectious rocks out. By the way, Amber, Heidi, and I all laugh really loud and each other’s laughter makes us laugh even more—it is great. Anywho, we are dying of laughter when Heidi all of sudden busts out the best phrase of this journey in her best surgical tone, “Amberlee, you’ve got pebbles.” All three of us including Lester absolutely lost it. Everything happened so fast. Amberlee jumped up and ran to the bathroom b/c she too has a bladder problem like myself, and we are all screaming with laughter when Jackie says from across the room, “Heidi do not pee the couch.” I lose it and run to the bathroom dying of laughter and I am in the doorway not breathing because I am laughing so hard and I thought I was screaming to Amber to get off the toilet but apparently no words came out because she was not moving but just laughing even more. She then screams through her laughter, “Watch out for the pee on the floor.” And I of course can not take it and jump skip and plop myself into the bathtub and lose all bladder control. So friends, if you are picturing this your dear twenty year old tor is squatting in the tub laughing and going to the bathroom while our dear twenty one year old amber has gotten back on the toilet to relieve her self once more when suddenly Heidi comes in looking for any drain possible to relieve herself and the sink becomes her only option. Unfortunately, she does not make it in time and has already peed herself so she turns to lean on the sink and we are all dying and can’t breathe when CRAAAAAAAAAASHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Porcelein pieces go flying, boiling hot water began spewing, and Heidi had crashed to the floor as well. The sink had completely and fully shattered. (Sidenote: Heidi is the smallest human being in the world and she was not sitting on the sink, just leaning. ) We screamed and all three of us were completely shocked but began taking action. I jumped up from the tub the same time Amberlee jumped off the toilet. Heidi stuck her thumb in the pipe that was spewing scalding hot water and the Amber and I were yelling for people to get some towels when I turned to Heidi and asked her if she was hurt. Our team started running in and poor Heidi was in complete shock and had no idea if her bum was hurt, but I looked at it and my word it was gushing blood. I automatically got into my “take charge” mode and got Heidi out of there and the commotion. I started barking orders as people came in, “we need alcohol swabs, guaze, get me a garbage bag, go get some clean rags, help in the bathroom, get the water turned off, we need a bucket in there, I need to stop this bleeding, she’s going white help me get her to the bed, get your first aid kits-now!, Heidi talk to me.” It was chaotic and stressful and unreal. Again, we couldn’t believe our lives. It was absolutely insane, ridiculous, and hilarious. It was the funniest time ever, but scary as well. Poor Heidi kept asking for Corbin because he is like our father in the way that he can fix anything, even her bum, but he was gone at the internet and no phone. She had three gashes in her bum and I knew immediately that one of them needed stitches. I could not get it to stop bleeding. I was literally tending to her bum for quite a long time. She had other scratches on her leg and one on her arm as well. The team was very helpful and cleaned up the bathroom and got the water turned off and helped me by getting bandages and alcohol swabs and butterfly band-aids. It was crazy. The family that lives with us kept saying, “So sorry. So sorry.” Really!? We’re the ones that were sorry!!! By the way Heidi was a champ and was so funny and was doing great while I was tending to her and everyone and their mom literally saw her gluteus maximus (sp?). FINALLY, about a half hour later Corbin and Ashley came home. We had the cameras and video camera out and recorded them coming in and their reaction. It was hilarious and I wish someone was recording our life at all times. They left and there was a sink and they came back and there no longer was one. They then turned and we presented Heidi and her bum and they started freaking out and laughing and Corbin kept saying, “Shut up. Shut up.” He then became all doctor on us and got all of his stuff and I was able to help him fix her bum. He agreed that her one of the gashes definitely needed stitches and he was so upset with himself that he hadn’t brought any. So he and I continued to clean out all the gashes and super glued the ones we could. He even injected some numbing stuff ( he is a medical assistant by the way) into the large gash. It was quite the night to say the least. Poor Heidi had to sleep on her stomach and not move much. The next day Corbin, Heidi, and I went to Jinja to the doctor we know there to get her stitched up. It was really great explaining to the doctor why she needed stitches in her bum. She got four stitches and is going to have the best scar ever. It was hands down one of the funniest nights of my entire life. We didn’t have water the next day which was perfect because the new volunteers were coming. Seriously, our lives are insane. I love every second of it. And I love Heidi and of course amberlee and her pebbles.

New Volunteers/praying in the the latrine/ Mt. Elgon/ DJ is my hero
Well, after quite the sink fiasco everything was running smoothly with the new volunteers. Heidi had a sore bum, but a great story to tell and our sink got fixed surprisingly quite quickly. The new volunteers came which meant that Jeff, Dan, David, Les, and myself had to move ourselves to the mayor’s house because we only have space for 16 people in that small home and we now had 24 volunteers. They came on a Thursday afternoon and we showed them all around our sweet town. Thursday night was my first night at Deo’s and it was quite a funny one because Lindsi S ( a new volunteer) and myself get a long quite well and think everything is hilarious especially the game of pogs we played. I went to bed feeling good about the new people in our group. However, I woke up around three freezing and needing to go to the bathroom. Our bathroom is located outside and though it is a flushing toilet it is right next to the latrines. Les woke up too and said she would come with me which I very much appreciated. We have to go through David and DJ’s room to get outside so we tried to creep past and be as quiet as possible and as we stepped off the porch the dogs started barking so loud and came running at us so Les and I naturally freaked out and ran to the bathroom. The dogs were still barking and I couldn’t go to the bathroom because there was no toilet paper. So les and I had to sneak back to our room, but the dogs heard us and started running back at us so we ran back into the house. I got toilet paper and we waited for the dogs to calm down and leave. . .by the way we had awoken everyone at this point. Feeling bad we rushed out the door and the dogs started chasing us again and this time were surrounding the bathroom barking and waiting for us. Les and I were so scared (I’ve gotten bit by two different dogs two separate times fyi!) because we were half asleep and not thinking properly and we didn’t know these dogs at all. So les looks at me and says should we say a prayer?!?! Uh, sure I said. So I said the prayer with both of us in the latrine. Please picture two girls praying in a latrine surrounded by barking dogs. Aren’t our lives cool? We are cool too. Then the dogs did leave and we briskly and stealthily walked back to our room and locked the door and apologized to everyone as we were laughing that we just prayed in a latrine. Everyone was laughing at us as well. Whatevveerrr. I woke up the next day with a strange burning behind my right knee. I looked down and there were 2.5 huge blistery bubbly bumps growing on the back of my leg. Many of you know any type of random unnecessary bumps on a human body really grosses me out so this definitely did. We just kind of assumed they were bites of some sort but drained them like blisters. Unfortunately they filled up quite quickly into gross small version of the first bumps. We kept draining them and no worms of any type came out so that was a good sign I think. Corbin cleaned it really well and took care of me like a good father would. The blistery bumps filled up again, but not as bad. We got a new mosquito net that day because ours had holes and we did not know what kind of bug did that to my leg or what was going on. My leg is better now though and there were no eggs inside the bumps or anything so no worries!!

Wow, so much to write about and so little time! More updates soon i hope!!
please keep praying for us--we need it. AND i promise an update on mt. elgon and all of my projects soon! Life is so good here! thanks for all of your prayers and thoughts!
love,