Nickel and Five pennies...

Being home i get to see old friends and friends of the family. one of these old friends of the family who i love and think is hilariousssssssssss made a comment about my africa that made me literally want to drop kick this certain person in the trachea.
we were talking about africa and this person said," i wouldn't give a dime to anyone in that whole continent."
(hahahahah, i was courteously laughing trying to make a joke out of it)
and this person said, "no seriously think about it. between aids, corruption, and diseases in 10 years there will be no one left over there."

I said, (still smiling of course) , "no its on the upturn. I know the people over there, things are changing, its hopeful. . . and if nothing else, I WILL be over there in ten years."

It was a casual comment and muffled in a crowd of people discussing their holiday hor dourves and wassail drink as they anticipated a large dinner and enjoyed the smells and warm comfort of our living room. ....with presents waiting at home and family near, yaaa, why would you give 10cents to a continent with an overwhelming need for shelter, food, medication, and love?
i'm fuming.

How dare someone speak those words in my home where I have traveled to Uganda and loved my work there and adored those people.

I can't even write about it anymore.
I'm furious with this person, but not at the same time.
The ignorance is crushing me. People think they have an idea of the corruption and hunger and disease over there cause they've seen pictures or heard stories or seen documentaries.

Don't you dare think you know anything at all.
I've lived there and walked those streets and my team and I have been a part of that culture and danced with them and sang praises and literally spoon fed the disabled. And we too, can not and will not over generalize our findings.

But if i've learned anything, anything at all, it is that I know nothing.

With this knew found knowledge I move forward hopefully as an ambassador for Africa to try and live my life so that I might go back there someday. This is not just a far off place. This is my other home.

I have given and I will continue to give a dime and all my efforts to that far off place I love.


Merry Christmas my friends,
Vickitoria

Courage.

"Courage, also known as bravery, will, intrepidity, and fortitude, is the ability to confront fear, pain, risk/danger, uncertainty, or intimidation. "Physical courage" is courage in the face of physical pain, hardship, or threat of death, while "moral courage" is the ability to act rightly in the face of popular opposition, shame, scandal, or discouragement." --the very dependable wikipedia.

Per Usual, its time for reflection. As a current 21 year old many things in my life should be accomplished at this point in time....
they aren't.
Many things should be learned, experienced, and 'done and done' as hbales and i would say...
well, they aren't.

Okay, so looking back at these past 21 years of God given life what has occurred? What has been accomplished? What have I failed? Even moreso, WHO have I failed? What cause has moved forward because I existed, WHO has moved towards success because I their mentor?

Now, I'm not looking for a self esteem boost or to make this a pity post, but really isn't it about time...to re-evaluate life? ...my life, anyway.


The truth is, is that it is time for a change. Good thing it is a new year and a new semester of opportunity to make these changes and to get things done like i know i need to.

You know I learned so much this past summer in my beloved Africa and i think its about time i put this new knowledge into my life. Very honestly and humbly, i admit (to this blogging world ) that I have really wasted so much quality time, energy, money, and resources this past semester as i've wallowed in silent loneliness missing my beloved africa. its time for a change.

As some of you know, I have 'themes' in my life...and i'd like to introduce a new one about my Africa....

They don't need our pity, they need our prayers.

They don't need me wallowing...they need me working.

If you have not read or seen the book Hope in the Dark, it is about time you do so. The introduction shook my soullllllll. Please read it. http://www.hopeinthedark.com

Well, after all those rambles I think its time for a short story...
Gulu. Have I ever mentioned my time up North in the Displacement Camps??? I do not think so... Well, it was about the middle of July and instead of going on a safari I decided to go to Gulu ( lonnnng story/hard decision, but right decision for me) which is where we would be teaching business training to a select group of people. I was assigned Advertising/Marketing. Gulu was a tough trip for our team for several reasons. The bus ride was long and dreadful, but we could handle it by now. Nine hours on a horrendous bus was cake for us...However, it was near the end of our African experience and we were anxious/stressed/emotions were high because we wanted to go home, but didn't want to at the same time. Our team dynamics were off. I remember we stayed with Honorable Betty and her adorable family. Well, the boys stayed at her home and the girls had to walk down the road to another little place where we stayed. Man oh mannnnnn that place was so interesting. No running water. No bathroom or latrine that I can think of...Freshly painted sea blue walls made the fumes overwhelming and so that we couldn't touch the walls. It was literally a room with three mattresses on the floor, another small room with bunks and another room where we put our stuff. It was small, but again we were fine. However, I have never been so filthy in my life and we were literally living and sleeping in dirt (literally) and sharing mattresses and getting eaten alive as we heard mice/rats all around...(there was a HUGE hole in the ceiling). Well, most of us had had enough of just everything and each other. To top it off our business lessons were going just okay and for some, not well at all. We couldn't tell if people were understanding (we had translators) and we just felt like failures and were not getting support from one another. It was a tough time. Our tempers were short. I know, I know, we should have thought about our lives and how incredible they were, and believe me, I tried. I did. I was still grateful for where I was, but I can't even describe our circumstances and the feelings felt. It was rough. Well, Sunday morning came and we really wanted to get to the LDS branch that was fairly new in GULU. It took us forever. Half of us went in the complete wrong direction and were led to the wrong place. We were frustrated as it was and it only got worse. Well, we finally did make it to the little branch held in a humble very random building. I remember a few things about that sunday. Number one: the church was organized with a branch president. Number two: We sang the same hymns i knew and loved. Number three: we felt the same spirit and we were all humbled. I have never felt so much humility in my life. Our team had been arguing and annoyed with one another but as we sat in that room we sang, "count your many blessings" and "How firm a foundation." I was taught that day that we are not in charge of our circumstances, but that is not our responsibility. It is our responsibility to make the most out of what we are given and to still sing praises to our Heavenly Father who declares to us over and over, "fear not i am with thee, o be not dismayed. For I am thy God and will still give thee aid" despite our erroneous ways and prideful hearts. corbin and steph sang a duet as well. We were brought to tears. Very, very humble tears. Our team spent the rest of the day apologizing to one another and for me personally, trying to be a little better, a little kinder, and more patient. It was a tough time for all of us and it was time for us to respect that with one another. Looking back now many in our team still reflect on how Gulu was just a tough time and not that great experience for the first group of people who went. But for me, I have no regrets about that trip and I will be forever grateful for the lessons I learned sitting in that very humbling sacrament meeting. No matter where we find ourselves in this world, there is one God who knows where we are and what we are doing. And despite our actions, though good or bad, proactive or lazy, He will still reaffirm to us that He is real and available and forgiving.
He will still give us aid.

Thank God.

Well, Merry Christmas my dear friends and family. Africa is still in my heart more than ever and is not going away any time soon. I guess this post was supposed to be mostly about having the courage in our lives to do what we know is needed, necessary, and nice in our current situation... so,


"Courage, my friends, 'tis not too late to make a better world." --Thomas Douglas

love,
Vickitoria